The Guardian’s Dr. John Briffa deconstructs the health benefits (or lack thereof) in the Gorillaz’ rider.

Murdoc’s rider

• A magnum of Dom Perignon 98 – love this mixed with orange juice

• Rum – Murdoc home-brew special. Must be at room temperature

• Malibu x 2 large bottles – beats having to climb coconut trees to brew my own

• Juicy, genetically modified chicken – legs and breast only – because I’m a genetically modified kind of guy!

• Heavily seasoned, tinned star-fish tuna

• Coconuts – I live on a plastic island in the middle of nowhere, coconuts are my life now!

• Diamante-studded bananas – what else would a member of Gorillaz eat?

• Green tea – for its detoxing properties, but also to keep my skin nice and green

• Lemon and jam sandwiches – bitter and twisted, like my ex-girlfriend

• A bowl of Maltesers with the chocolate sucked off

• Container of hot and spicy salsa

• Jar of self-righteous organic peanut butter

• 1 bottle of 100mg vitamin C

• 1 large bottle of Viagra

Gorillaz’ Plastic Beach is out this Tuesday, March 9 via Virgin. Watch the band try to escape Bruce Willis in the video for the first single, “Stylo.”