Cream of the Crop (Ooh, hush)

Posted August 29th, 2007 by Kevin Langston · 1 Comment

Shoutmouth has compiled a list of The 50 Hottest Women in Music that mostly fixates on the commercial side of the music coin — although nods are given to Feist, Liz Phair, MIA, Cat Power, The Pipettes and a few other “indie” darlings.

Lists like these invariably spark debates, so allow me to cast the first stone: Where the fresh hell is Neko Case?

To prove they took something like this seriously, they’ve gone through the trouble of disclosing their methodology:

Rule #1 (The Madonna Rule): This list is based on recent hotness. It doesn’t matter how hot an artist was back in the ‘80s. It’s 2007. What have you done for us lately?

Rule #2 (The Hayden Panettiere Rule): To qualify for this list, an artist must be over 18 years of age. We only objectify of-age women here.

Rule #3 (The Newcomer Rule): Each artist must have released at least one full-length album prior to August 1, 2007 in order to qualify.

Rule #4 (The Pseudo-Musician Rule): Lindsay Lohan and Paris Hilton are disqualified for obvious reasons.

Rule #5 (The Ashlee Simpson Rule): A woman can move up a few spots based on talent and/or personality. However, they cannot be hurt by lack of talent. Just like in real life.

Rule #6 (The Anastacia Rule): A prolonged absence from the musical spotlight can bring an artist down several notches. This is, after all, a list of the hottest women in music, so it’s only appropriate that they stay active in music.

Rule #7 (The Dixie Chicks Rule): For a group, the ranking will be determined by averaging the hotness of all members.

Not to outdo themselves, Shoutmouth has previously ranked The 25 Most Influential Punk Bands and The Greatest Cleavage in Music.

Let the mastur(de)bating commence!

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1 response so far ↓

  • 1 Logan Young // Aug 29, 2007 at 11:21 pm

    I saw the Hayden “Panties-I-tear-(with my mouth)” rule, but cum on, where is Hannah Montana? The Cheetah Grrls? Ashley Tisdale? That’s So Raven? Anneliese van der Pol? And that’s just the Disney Channel set.