Pedal Faster Bicycle Rider
By: Eric G.
The trouble with genre music is that bands get really lazy because it doesn’t take much to fit in, so if you dress the part and sprinkle your sound with the tell-tale signs, you’ve got it made. There are too many suckers out there for you to fail. And that goes double for emo fans. I can just picture all the bearded, super-sensitive, broken-hearted loners chugging away at their ever-so-slightly discordant guitars with lyrics about dresses and forgotten afternoons and saying “I miss you” in a half-yell/half-scream in these bands. It’s such a stupid genre to begin with. Who invented emo? The bands that get credit for inventing it were probably good because it’s always the third and fourth generations of copiers that make a genre sound so lame and pointless.
This collection has a few good bands on it, and I feel very sorry for them because it’s the bad stuff in between that makes them all look so bad. You know it’s a bad omen when you can tell by the titles that something is going to be awful, but get a load of these gigantic emo cliches: “Grace Kelly With Wings”, “Too Soon To Laugh”, “This Lovesick”, and “Teresa.” There’s even a band called The Shyness Clinic on here for God’s sakes. It’s embarrassing. Go away and take all of your scenester PC bullshit with you. You might as well be the Counting fucking Crows.